I've been in therapy for 1.5 years, everything was fine until transference emerged. I never had secure attachements with my own parents and my therapist is the only person who understands me, she told me it is normal for me to feel attached to her and she knows it might be torturing.
But I feel that I am falling apart I love my therapist I always wait for the session and I mentally prepare for it and when I leave her office I hate the feeling of being disconnected.
Sometimes I feel like the only way to be relieved from this sufference is to quit therapy. I need to forget my therapist because no matter what I do there will be one day and I will not be a part of her life anymore.
I discussed with her me wanting to quit therapy and I told her I need to be relieved from the pain transference is causing. I'm not sure if I came to her for trauma or for the feelings which emerged. I'm not able to create a balance between what I came for and my feelings I feel that I'm not able to deal with.
I'm confused if I quit especially as we quarelled a lot for multiple reasons and she was tough with me. I hate to remember the bad memories in therapy I feel like I do not want to continue even if I need her badly.