Insecurities From The Past

by Jessica
(Georgia USA)

Photo Credit: .bean.

I'm 23 and about a year ago I gave birth to my first child. I am 5'2 and 132Ibs. I would not consider myself obese but yes a little chubby in some areas. When I was younger I was never obese but not skinny, probably would have been considered average now looking back on it.

I grew up with five older brothers and a super thin mother who all enjoyed calling me fat in some fashion. I remember being so depressed as a preteen and having constant insecurities till I was up to maybe 20 when my family relationships started improving.

Just this morning me and my husband were talking (keep in mind neither one of us are morning people) so in the middle of a little fight, "You are getting fat!!" flies out of his mouth before he storms off. and I felt like I was thirteen again immediately fell on the floor and broke down sobbing! With reruns of my mother's voice calling me a fat ass in my head!!

I know my husband well enough that I know he is going to come home with a sincere apology. But I feel like I can hardly function right now!! I thought that I was over this being such a huge issue in my life!! Is there anything I can do to get over this? (by the way I do exercise I push the baby in a stroller every day for a hour and we don't eat that great but we are as a family working on it.)