A Prisoner in My Own Home

by Alice
(USA)

Photo Credit: Massimiliano Giani

What does it mean when your husband says "I'm a prisoner in my own home?" He has ADHD, a long history of viewing porngraphy, impulusivity, and has lost the respect of his two girls.



Is he trying to make me rescue him from his shame or guilt or is he holding me hostage so that I have to change so he feels better about himself? He lives with shame but not enough to stop his behavior; He gets disappointed in himself for doing things he shouldn't but not enough to stop himself; he twists what he hears, i.e, "the kids said you get them late to school" and he hears, "I am not a failure as a father and you owe me an apology"; an apology for something I didn't say but just repeated; and he does not know how to relate to his teenage daughters nor will he pick up books to learn how to relate.

I have told him he made his own prison and its not my deal. What do you think this is? And how should I respond. Feeling trapped and don't want to. I am a happy person and he is not going to bring me into his prison. There is a door, called the front door, if he feels he needs freedom, but he won't take that either.

Suggestions, please.