Subconscious Jealousy

Photo Credit: Alejandro Tamayo

Photo Credit: Alejandro Tamayo

Is there such a thing as subconscious jealousy, and if so, what results from it?

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May 14, 2011
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Subconscious jealousy in yourself or others
by: Anonymous

* Ever felt angry at somebody and afterwards realised what they did that you wish you could do?
* Really disliked someone you didn't know who was good looking or talented?
* Found yourself saying something bad about a person because it bothered you someone thought well of them?
* Found it hard to be happy for a friend who had a success?
* Feel bad about yourself when people have things go well for them?

It may take time to acknowledge deeply buried feelings of jealousy. It will either be pointed out to you or you may realise yourself that you have them deep down and what you thought was anger, is in fact envy or jealousy.

Note the difference between jealousy and envy.
Jealousy is a feeling of wanting the same as what someone else has. Envy is far more destructive. It is wanting to take off the other person what they have and involves deep resentment and an inability to tolerate others having what you want. The envious person feels completely justified in their actions and are unapologetic.

The jealous person usually has reasons to justify their bad behaviour, refuses to take responsibility for it, will try to shift the blame back to you.

But maybe you have a friend you suspect is jealous, who stays angry no matter how hard you try to fix it, or it makes it worse. Could it be jealousy?

The jealous friend will be trying to hurt you or your reputation, trying to prevent you from getting anything good, keeping secrets from you to keep you on the outside. A jealous person finds it impossible to do something nice for the person they are jealous of.

There will be evidence that they are trying to take away from you what you have that they want. They will invest a huge amount of sudden, new energy trying to get ahead of you in that area via trying to draw attention to themselves and trying to make you look worse to others by speaking badly about you.

This can be hard to spot but overtime it becomes obvious. They are not happy for you when something good happens and can hardly manage a smile or congratulations. They will look visibly agitated and moody when you are enjoying the company or fruitage of the source of their jealousy, they are very interested in what you do with who and where you go, they will say bad things about you to everyone.

They may accuse you of starting the competition but that is only proof that they have feelings of jealousy and are inclined to competition.

If you have accidentally boasted and aroused jealousy in someone, it is good in future to remember that some people can be made jealous easily. But jealousy and envy are ultimately the problems of the individual. It would not be fair on others to have to hide all their success and talents.

A healthy, mature person doesn't compete but is happy about themself and for others success, will direct feelings of envy into motivation to reach out to be more successful in their own lives.

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