Friendship Psychology

by Anonymous

Let's start it off with some background of me:

I am Senior in high school and the type of person who is a man of few words. I get along with everyone. However, I find most of the guys annoying because of the immature things that they do. Because of that, I get along with more girls, than I do with guys.

So anyway, I became friends with a group of people. By hanging out a lot, we have gotten closer and have been inseparable ever since. In my group of friends, there's my best guy friend, and 2 best girl friends. Surprisingly, my best guy friend is one of the only few guys that I respect, just because of the way he is. He is genuine and respectful to girls, just like me, which is probably why I get along with him so well. However, he has this other best friend who he has been friends with for 5 years. I always feel like I'm intruding. But he always tells me that I'm not, and that we're both his best friends. He is more comfortable with me though, because he talks to me about everything, serious and funny matters, but he rarely talks to his other best friend about the serious matter. During our friendship, I got a girlfriend, who I have been best friends with since junior high.

Now, my relationship with my girlfriend has gotten to the point where I have to pick between my best friends and her. I love my girlfriend. However, I also love my best friends, because out of the group of friends that I've had throughout my high school career, I feel like they are the people who I want to stay friends with for the rest of my life. I hang out with my friends more, especially with my best guy friend, because I'm afraid that I'm going to lose him to his other best friend, who he has sort of drifted from. I want him to value me as much as I value him, since he's on the of the very few guys I can stand. I want him to feel like no matter what, I'm here for him. I guess I want him to think that I'm his BEST friend.

Anyway, this has caused troubles with my girlfriend. I don't want to lose her because I love her. I honestly can't picture myself with anyone else. I guess I take our relationship for granted, because I know no matter what, we'll always be together. But now, shes confused, and doesn't know whether she should stay with me or not.

What is wrong with me? Why am I so insecure? I always feel like I have to be the one.