Relationship Fear

by Anonymous

Photo Credit: Nic Price

Photo Credit: Nic Price

My question is regarding a man I am currently in a relationship with who has children. He recently stated the reason he doesn't invite me to do things with him and the kids is a fear of success. Of not being able to live up to it if we succeed in meshing well.

We are both divorced, him currently going on three years and mine more recent. We decided from the beginning to take things slow and give each other space to heal. Mainly for myself and healing from my recent divorce. Also for the children in case we decided we aren't compatible.

The problem is his paralyzing fear when it comes down to actually progressing to the next level of committment which is to bring the kids in to the equation. We started to a little and things went beautifully. He was all smiles and the kids and I had a great bond instantly. Then it slowed again. Like he is happy about it then scared. He goes as far as asking me to do something with him and the kids then sort of makes me feel like he is forcing it.

I sense fear so I back off and then I don't hear from him for days. This man has more potential then any I have ever met. We have the love, respect and wonderful intimacy with each other but sometimes I sense him pulling away...and then coming back. Alot of mixed signals but something in my gut says to be patient and that he is worth it.

Am I wrong? Is there something I can do to help him get past this or is this something that will prevent him from fully committing for years? I just don't see it as normal to not communicate with someone you care about for days. Confused.

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