Psychology Underpinning Behavior

by Linda
(BC, Canada)

What would be the reason why an adult daughter of 43 years would continually do some kind of small damage in her moms home when no one can see her do it? She is not clumsy but after almost every visit there is a new scratch, ding or mark of some kind. This has been happening for many years.

I feel possibly it is an undeserved punishment directed towards me (her mom) for childhood abuse from my ex husband towards my daughter. When he was punished for this it was hoped she would find closure but has not.

Is this a punishment of some kind, or is it an illness all on its own? Is there a way to resolve this problem? We are more concerned now in our new retirement home. The new appliances and cupboards are one by one they getting their new marks. Her stepdad of 33 years and I are careful people and respectful of other peoples property. Its difficult for us to understand this.

I can not approach her on this without confrontation. God knows we've had enough of that. Our daughter has been through many bad bouts of depression. I don't know what the right thing to do is but I am keeping my distance now because I have had enough.