Mental Health

by Abbey
(New York City)

Photo Credit: Xeeliz

Photo Credit: Xeeliz

I am a complete introvert and INTJ (personality type). I don't like social interaction; I avoid it. I prefer solitary activities and I enjoy intellectual activities. I show traits that are common in Schizoid Personality Disorder. Though these traits are prominent, I sometimes have magical thinking and odd beliefs. It's extremely common for people to call me "weird", "interesting" or "eccentric". This doesn't bother me, because I like it that way. But lately, I have been having serious delusion, hallucinations and this behavior has been causing problems psychologically.

I have no history of drug abuse of any kind. Though I don't get much sleep. I believe that these hallucinations are temporary. But I am concerned for a personality disorder. I am not normal. I know that, but what interests me is what about myself isn't normal. I am wonderful (or so I think) at hiding my introversion and dislike for social interaction. I have many "friends" that I believe are thoroughly convinced that I like them,and enjoy social interaction, when in (my) reality, they are the people I hate most (extroverts,"fake" people, people who talk a lot, ect.

Here are some symptoms of abnormality I and others consider strange:

  • I am highly Introverted. I only like one friend, and she is a fellow INTJ. Although I like her, I don't always like to stay around her because I highly value independence and isolation.

  • I have a hard time remembering whether something was a dream, really happened, or something I saw somewhere else (i.e. television).

  • I am over analytical and think at a fast pace that I don't like to explain because the idea is constantly evolving.

  • I am an "idea person".

  • I can pretend to feel emotions I don't actually feel.

  • I don't show much expression and don't really notice unless I reflect on my actions.

  • I can pretend to be extroverted.

  • I hate talking to people. I hate questions, small talk, or conversations generally.

  • I enjoy solitary, intellectual activities.

  • I will almost always choose to be alone rather than with others.

  • I hate loud, abrupt noise and usually wear headphones to block out noise.

  • My mind is always thinking and is always contemplating ideas and so my head is never "quiet" and peaceful. Sometimes this hurts my head or causes head aches, but I can't help but think and analyze at a fast pace.

  • I was always considered odd and eccentric and was sort of isolated as a child. I remember being analytical and introspective at a very young age too. I am sometimes told to stop being so independent. I believe that if someone else can do it, I can do it. I grew up as a middle child and so I did most things on my own and liked it that way. I don't like to work with others, and, as I mentioned before, highly value independence.

    I usually find things like personality disorders and psychology intriguing, and I do still find it interesting. But now that I am experiencing it (or something like it), I am interested, confused, and almost scared.

    Is this a legitimate problem, or just the way my mind works?

    Is this behavior considered abnormal or a disorder?

    Related Information on The All About Psychology Website

    Mental Health

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