Child Psychology Question

by Marcus
(United States)

Photo Credit: robinn

Photo Credit: robinn

My son is 5 and his mother and I were advised by his kindergarten teacher that he is having sad spells and doing things to get attention. We, his parents, have just started going through divorce proceedings but his mom has had depression and has been walking around the house is a sad depressed mood for the last 8, 10, or 12 months.

She called his family doctor and told him we were going through a divorce and that is why he is acting like that so his doctor has referred my son to a counselor. Now the divorce proceedings have only been going on for about 2 weeks and both of us parents are still in the same household.

So my question is would the divorce proceedings be the cause of my son acting this way in school or would it be because he has been subjected to a sad, depressed mom for the last year or two? She also fills him with a lot of uncertainty by saying " I don't know where we will be son" and " I don't know if we are even gonna have a Christmas this year son".

Just wondering if this all of the sudden has started his behavior or if he is just a product of his environment? BTW, mom is a stay at home mom and he has been with her more than me his entire life. Thanks

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Nov 24, 2010
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DIVORCE
by: KATHY

While your divorce proceedings have only begun in the past two weeks the problems between you and your wife have been going on a lot longer than that. If you think a child does not feel the effects of discord in the home, then you are mistaken. You would be wise to begin family counselling...not just taking the child...counselling could help your wife deal with her depression, and help you to stop trying to find blame with her for the situation. Pointing fingers will not help your son. It will also aid you both in learning to put your sons well being and sense of security aside from and apart from your problems as a couple.

I am sure you both are playing a part in your sons feelings and acting out at school. You make a point to say your son has always spent way more time with his mother and therefore she has had this negative influence on him.

Did you ever stop to think that your son may crave some attention from you? maybe he feels more lonely and insecure since he hardly gets to spend time with you and now that the divorce has begun, he may be afraid he will even have less contact with you...at five he may not know this on a conscious level, but the fact is, you must stop trying to find blame for his issues, and focus more on how you and your wife can improve the situation together in spite of the problems between you two. Remember you are the adult!

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